From Excuses to Ownership: My Journey to Accountability

 In a world quick to point fingers, the most radical act might just be saying, “It was me.”

We live in a culture where blame is passed around like a hot potato. When something goes wrong, the instinct is often to say, “You did this,” or “He messed up,” or “She should have known better.” Rarely do we pause and ask, “What was my part in this?”

This isn’t about self-blame or taking on guilt that doesn’t belong to us. It’s about reclaiming agency. When we say “me,” we’re not just accepting responsibility—we’re stepping into our power to change, to grow, and to lead by example.

The Blame Game: A Childhood Habit

I wasn’t always someone who believed in taking responsibility. In fact, like many kids, I was a master of the blame game.

Growing up, I used to play with my neighbours and cousins almost every day. And whenever something went wrong—someone got hurt, something broke, or tears started flowing—I had a go-to move. Before the crying kid could even open their mouth, I’d jump in with, “He did this, so that happened, and now he’s crying.” Quick, clean, and blame successfully redirected. Or so I thought.

Fast forward to my school and college days, and not much had changed. I was the classic last-bencher, whispering jokes and passing notes during lectures. When we got caught, I’d casually shift the spotlight to my best friend. “Sir, he started it!” I’d say, knowing full well we were both equally guilty. It wasn’t about throwing him under the bus—it was more like dragging him under with me so we’d both get scolded. Misery loves company, right?

Looking back, those moments seem small, even funny. But they were early signs of a habit that many of us carry into adulthood: the instinct to deflect. To protect ourselves from discomfort by pointing fingers outward instead of inward.

The Turning Point

As time passed, life had its own way of teaching me what no lecture ever could. The loss of my father was one of those moments that changed everything. Suddenly, the carefree days of childhood were replaced by the weight of responsibility—family, decisions, expectations. There was no one left to pass the blame to. It was just me.

And in that space, I learned something simple but life-changing: to say, “Yes, it was me. I’m sorry.”

Not out of guilt, but out of strength. Because taking ownership isn’t about being perfect—it’s about being accountable. It’s about recognizing that growth begins the moment we stop pointing fingers and start looking inward.

Breaking the Cycle

Now, as a father myself, I see those same childhood instincts in my own kids—the quick finger-pointing, the scramble to avoid getting in trouble. And every time I witness it, I’m reminded of my own journey.

But this time, I have the chance to do things differently.

I talk to my kids about accountability—not as punishment, but as strength. I tell them it’s okay to make mistakes, but it’s even more important to own them. Because that’s how we grow. That’s how we earn trust. That’s how we become better.

I’m not just teaching them to avoid the blame game. I’m teaching them to be brave enough to say, “Yes, it was me.”

And in doing so, I’m still learning too.

A Gentle Challenge to You

Think back to your own moments—big or small—when you chose “you,” “he,” or “she” over “me.” What would’ve changed if you had owned your part instead?

The next time you’re tempted to deflect, pause. Ask yourself: What’s my role in this? What can I learn?

Because the truth is, “ME over You, HE or She” isn’t selfish—it’s courageous. It’s the first step toward becoming the person you’re meant to be.